


these are my confessions

by euigeon



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-14 20:55:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15397257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/euigeon/pseuds/euigeon
Summary: The thing about Valentine’s Day is that it becomes relatively easier to confess. For Jaemin, unfortunately, it’s still a colossal disaster.





	these are my confessions

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: unedited, unbeta'd, rushed, sucky grammar, sucky ending, sucky everything lol

The thing about Valentine’s Day is that it becomes relatively easier to confess.

Admittedly, the success rate is still questionable and there is still no guarantee that the day will end the way you want it to, but there still exists the spike of courage one gets on this specific day simply because everyone else is doing it too.

Flowers are buried under flowers, letters are piled up one above the other, and people eat the candies and chocolates given to them regardless of who it’s from. Each confession is hidden under hundreds more confessions and no one can really make a huge deal out of the most unexpected confessions from the most unexpected people because there are just too many of them. Cross out the ones who are already in an existing relationship and it turns out that Valentine’s Day is just a day for everyone to realize that they’re all pining idiots, waiting for the right moment to confess their feelings to someone who might or might not like them back.

So, like what everyone else does, Jaemin musters enough courage and decides that he would try and confess (anonymously, because he’s brave but not _that_ brave), buys a single stalk of sunflower (not a rose, because he’s cliché but not _that_ cliché), attempts to write the most coherent letter as legibly as he can (because he’s 100% a fucking sap), and waits for the perfect timing to drop them off in Jeno’s locker.

Because it’s Valentine’s Day and it _should_ be easier to confess.

For Jaemin, unfortunately, it’s still a colossal disaster.

 

 

Jaemin’s plan was to leave the sunflower and unsigned letter and never confront his feelings for Jeno ever again. He’s more than content liking Jeno from afar, admiring him and gushing about him to Mark without ever going out of his way to try and pursue this crush.

Mark never passes up an opportunity to let Jaemin know how stupid he thinks this is, but Jaemin, with all his fragile feelings and emotions, would rather save himself from the embarrassment of getting rejected and settles for pining. Besides, confessing to Jeno has never sounded appealing to Jaemin especially when Jeno is so perfect* and Jaemin is just… Jaemin. And so, the idea of confessing face to face has been out of the picture since, well, forever.

Mark constantly tells Jaemin that there is nothing for him to be afraid of and that he doesn’t really have anything to lose if ever Jeno does reject his feelings. Awkwardness isn’t a problem because they don’t belong in the same circle and there is essentially no precious and fragile friendship that’s going to burn down in flames if he does ever get rejected. The worst thing that could happen is Jeno laughing at his face, maybe be a bit harsher with flipping him off, and reducing Jaemin’s already fluctuating self-confidence down to a negative. But it’s Jeno and Jaemin wouldn’t have fallen in love with him if he was even remotely close to being an asshole.

Jeno is a dream. He isn’t wildly popular in school, but he is well-known for being a part of the soccer team, for volunteering in a lot of the school’s outreach programs, and, to put it bluntly, for his very very charming face. Jaemin would call him well-rounded if his academic record was flawless too, so there’s an asterisk on the whole ‘perfect boy image’ he has going on, which honestly doesn’t affect how Jaemin sees him at all. If anything, Jaemin is glad that Jeno initially lacked in understanding for Sciences, because if he didn’t, maybe Jaemin wouldn’t have had the chance to team up with him for one project and pull his grades up to a solid B.

Somewhere in the middle of their library and coffee shop meetings, Jaemin fell quite hard for Jeno. It totally doesn’t help that ever since that class ended, Jeno never fails to flash him that extra radiant smile and always greets him whenever they meet in the hallways. Or when Jeno randomly decides to sidle beside Jaemin on some of their shared classes just to ask _what’s up_ or _how are you._ It drills Jaemin further into the ground, under the heavy pile of rubble called _Stupid Feelings for Lee Jeno._

Jaemin is given five seconds to rack up some stupid excuse as to why he had literally been two steps away from dropping what looks like a foolish confession into Jeno’s locker before Jeno’s actually beside him, hands expertly turning the combination to the lock.

“What’s up, Jaemin?” Jeno greets him brightly as he shoves his Biology textbook inside the locker. In his other free hand, he holds two long-stemmed roses, one red and one white. “Valentine’s Day, huh?” Jeno nods at him with that god-awful eye smile and blinding grin. His eyes dart towards the flower and envelope in Jaemin’s hands then back to Jaemin. “Oh. Who’s that for?”

“Uh,” Jaemin says intelligently. He stares wordlessly at Jeno, gulps thickly, and overtly glances over at Jeno’s locker. “No one.”

Jeno frowns, giving his locker a once over before looking right back at Jaemin with a knowing smile. “Ey,” he singsongs, nudging Jaemin playfully on the shoulder. “You could tell me right now, you know?”

Jaemin feels his heart beating out of his chest as he bites his tongue to prevent himself from blurting out that _Yeah,_ _I’ve had this embarrassing, massive, awful crush on you for two years already._ He takes too long to give any sort of response.

“I could help you out,” Jeno blurts out before Jaemin could. He shoves both roses inside of his locker along with his textbook and slams it shut.

Jaemin, frozen on his spot, could only gape at Jeno, who looks about just as flustered as he was. “Help me out with what exactly?”

“Set you up. With Donghyuck, right?” There’s that twinkling smile that reflects both on Jeno’s eyes and lips again as he nudges Jaemin on the shoulder. He taps his finger on the locker beside his own, Donghyuck’s locker. “Hyuck’s going to love this. You know how much he loves being referred to as _full sun_?” he says, referring to the sunflower bloom.

Jaemin could only let out an airy and barely audible, “Right. Donghyuck.”

“Want me to hand those over then?” Jeno says, eyeing the items in Jaemin’s hand. “I’ll tell him it’s from a secret admirer. Should make it more exciting.” Jaemin’s grip is too loose to stop Jeno from taking the flower and letter from his hand and stopping Jeno from making this an even bigger mess than it already is. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Jaemin,” he flashes that blinding grin one last time before spinning on his heel and quickly walking away.

When Jeno is already out of earshot, Jaemin lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and whispers, “Shit. Happy Valentine’s Day, Jeno.”

 

 

Mark isn’t helpful at all, choosing to taunt Jaemin when he tells the tale of the mistaken confession over lunch.

“Maybe this is destiny working its magic, you know? Maybe it’s the universe’s way of telling you that you should get over your massive crush on Jeno.” Mark’s mouth is full as he talks, gobbling up one whole piece of _kimbap_ as Jaemin watches in disgust.

Jaemin balls up a paper napkin and throws it at Mark’s face. “And what? You’re telling me that destiny is telling me to have a crush on Donghyuck instead?” Jaemin blanches, resting his cheeks on his palm. His appetite is long gone and he could only pick on the small dish of radishes on his tray.

Mark shrugs in thought. “Donghyuck isn’t half-bad.”

“That’s not the point,” Jaemin whines with a soft sob.

“I get it. You’re whipped,” Mark says simply. “Everyone who knows you knows you’re whipped. Even my dog knows you’re truly, madly, crazily in love with Jeno.”

Jaemin sighs, shoulders slouching in defeat. “Why am I friends with you.”

Jaemin shuts Mark and the rest of the cafeteria out just as the older student is about to go about a full sermon on how Jaemin shouldn’t be impatient with love. He rests his chin on the table, forearms covering half of his face as he spaces out, staring mindlessly at Jeno’s usual table on the other side of the cafeteria.

What snaps him out of his trance is Jeno and the rest of his friends standing up to leave and Donghyuck marching across the floor to where Jaemin and Mark sat, sending Jaemin into a complete panic. Mark stops rambling when he sees Jaemin’s eyes blown up and turns around see Donghyuck standing behind him.

“Can we talk?” Donghyuck asks Jaemin, smiling softly at Mark before dragging his eyes back to the boy in question. “Alone? I promise I’ll give you back before lunch ends.”

Mark looks between the two of them and completely ignores the look of fear in Jaemin’s eyes. Mark smiles. “That’s fine. I’ll go. I have to cram a worksheet for next period anyway. I’ll see you later, Jaemin,” Mark says as he cleans up after himself, slinging his bag over his shoulders as he stands up. He turns to Donghyuck. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Hyuck.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Mark.” Donghyuck’s eyes sparkle as he waves goodbye. Then he drops himself on the seat Mark had vacated with the most malicious smile Jaemin has ever seen. “You know, I didn’t peg you to be the poetic type.”

Jaemin winces in embarrassment, looking around the cafeteria to make sure that no one’s listening in. “Please don’t tell him.” Donghyuck must have opened the letter already and Jaemin just really wishes that the world would swallow him whole. “I’m begging you.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “How did Jeno even end up giving it to me?”

“I was going to leave it in his locker but I got caught. He assumed it was for you. How did you know it was from me?” Jaemin asks, because he had written Jeno’s name in the letter but left it unsigned.

“Jeno didn’t tell me, if that’s what you’re asking,” Donghyuck says nonchalantly. “He said he swore he wouldn’t ever spill who gave it even if I bribed him. Chenle said he saw you and now he’s ten dollars richer.”

“Great,” Jaemin groans.

If he had known it would end up this bad, he wouldn’t have thought of doing anything on Valentine’s Day. He exposed himself, not only to some stranger, but to Jeno’s best friend. How pathetic Donghyuck must think he is right now.

“I’m sorry. If I wasn’t going to do it anonymously, I wasn’t going to do it at all. So just… forget about it.” Jaemin is about to run for the door when Donghyuck gets a grip on his wrist before he could get away. Jaemin plops back down on his seat.

“Wait,” Donghyuck says. He chews on his lips and looks at Jaemin like he’s contemplating. “Look, the letter was sweet. And I think you’re cute.”

Jaemin’s eyebrows shoot up way past his forehead.

“I-I’m not interested,” Jaemin sputters.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes again.

“For the record, you aren’t my type,” Donghyuck says. “I’ll help you out with Jeno.” There’s a smirk dancing on Donghyuck’s lips and Jaemin’s brain is telling him to run the opposite way, but the offer is way too tempting to resist.

Oh, how easy it is for his resolve to crumble. “What’s the catch?”

“Help me out with Mark Lee.”

Jaemin’s mouth falls on the floor, blinking at Donghyuck and the smugness on his face.

Jaemin thinks, maybe Mark isn’t so useless after all.

 

 

The situation is quite ridiculous.

Jaemin has no idea how his day went from _Jeno promising to help set him up with Donghyuck_ to _Donghyuck promising to help set him up with Jeno_ in exchange of _Jaemin promising to help set Donghyuck up with Mark_.

Jaemin fidgets nervously on his seat in the library for what seems to be an eternity, waiting for whatever signal Donghyuck was supposed to give as they put the latter’s plan into action. Mark senses this when he lifts his head from the textbook he’d been burying his nose into and sees that Jaemin is far too distracted to be working on the paper he should be writing.

“You know, dude, we can work at my place like we always do if the library is too distracting for you,” Mark puts his highlighter down and looks at Jaemin with concern.

Jaemin shakes his head with a nervous laugh. “No, it’s fine. I’m fine. I’m just waiting for something,” he says, scanning the area for the hundredth time since they got there.

Mark snorts. “For what? Your Valentine’s Day miracle? I thought you gave up when you accidentally confessed to your crush’s best friend.” He laughs as Jaemin glares at him through his lashes. “Do you really not want to consider Donghyuck? He’s cute. He’s got a nice voice too. He sings at our church sometimes.”

A lightbulb flickers above Jaemin’s head and he straightens up immediately on his seat, blinking at Mark who goes back to reading.

_“Help me out with Mark Lee.”_

“If you think he’s that amazing, why don’t _you_ ask him out?”

Mark lifts his head up so fast Jaemin swears he hears his neck crack. “Me? Ask Lee Donghyuck out?” Jaemin raises an eyebrow, amused that Mark looks like he’s seriously entertaining the idea of dating Donghyuck. “I would, but I don’t think I am his type.”

“And you think I am?” Jaemin deadpans and slams his laptop shut. He sighs when Mark shrugs his shoulders again and hides behind his textbook again. “Believe me, I’m not,” Jaemin huffs, thinking back to their conversation earlier. “Tell you what. If you ask Donghyuck out, I’ll ask Jeno out as well.”

Mark lifts his head and peeks at Jaemin. “You’re dead serious?”

Jaemin scratches the back of his neck with reluctance. “I mean, your life is pretty much as stale as mine. I’m looking out for you too.”

Mark half-scoffs and half-chuckles at him. “Yeah, right.”

On cue, Donghyuck walks through the doors of the library, hugging a binder close to his chest, with Jeno in tow just a few steps behind him. Jaemin clears his throat just as the two approach their table, Donghyuck greeting them with a soft “hey.”

“Hey, Donghyuck,” Mark smiles at Donghyuck then nods at the other boy. “Jeno.”

Donghyuck presses an even bigger smile, first at Mark then at Jaemin. “I just wanted to return your notes,” he carefully places a binder in front of Jaemin, one that he has clearly never ever seen before. “I think I aced my Chemistry exam, so thank you.”

And before Jaemin could point out that he doesn’t own the said binder, Jeno speaks up. “Oh. Yeah, Jaemin’s notes are the best,” Jeno adds, that stupid signature smile turning his eyes into the cutest crescents.

Jaemin doesn’t even have enough time to be confused, because he’s trying not to be stuttering mess at that sudden compliment. “Yeah? I’m glad it helped you,” Jaemin says carefully, not missing Donghyuck’s subtle wink. “So, uh, are you done with your classes?”

“Yeah, I’m about to go home in a little while,” Donghyuck says with a shrug.

Jaemin whips his head to look at Mark, who, thankfully doesn’t take too long to get the hint when he meets Jaemin’s gaze. Mark clears his throat and drags his eyes back to Donghyuck. “Hey, Hyuck. Do you want to, maybe, catch a movie tomorrow?” He smiles up at Donghyuck, who looks slightly taken aback by the invitation. “Unless, y’know. You already have plans,” Mark says as he eyes the sunflower sticking out of his bag.

Donghyuck blinks cluelessly and realizes a beat too late that Mark’s referring to the flower Jaemin had given to him. “No, I’d love to. Secret admirer didn’t really get to reveal himself today."

Jaemin winces when he feels Mark kicking him on the shin under the table.

“Want to tag along with me, Jeno?” Jaemin blurts out. He sees Mark’s amused smile from the corner of his eye, Donghyuck’s smirk right in front of him, and Jeno beside him, who looks pleasantly surprised himself albeit a bit confused. He panics and starts rambling when Jeno doesn’t answer after five painful seconds. “I mean, you can say no. You might have a date tomorrow and not go with us because that would be stupid of course you gotta go with your date and—”

“Jaemin,” Jeno cuts him off gently. “I’ll go,” he answers with a nod and a smile. “Donghyuck and I have soccer training until three-ish.”

“So, we can meet at five-ish at the movie theater?” Donghyuck chimes in, looking between Mark, Jeno, and Jaemin. “Snacks on me?”

“We’ll see you there.” Mark doesn’t stop grinning from ear to ear, not even when Donghyuck has turned around, not even when he’s out of the library. He turns to Jaemin, whose face has turned into an intense shade of pink and takes a breath. “Well, that was easy.”

“Sure, _Mr. I’m Not Lee Donghyuck’s Type_ ,” Jaemin rolls his eyes as he takes the binder Donghyuck left on the table. He scans the pages and realizes that it’s Donghyuck’s own notes, and he had just pretended that Jaemin let him borrow his own notes, just like he used to do with Jeno.

“Hey, at least you asked Jeno out. That’s progress. You have a hot date,” Mark tells him with a wink. “And so do I.”

 

 

Jaemin learns that Donghyuck and Mark make a good team.

When Jaemin gets to the mall, Mark and Donghyuck are already together and have already bonded over ice cream and their mutual love for old music. They’ve also bonded over their shared amusement over Jaemin’s wreck of a crush, which just makes Jaemin regret that he ever considered taking up Donghyuck’s offer to help him out. When Jeno arrives, Mark and Donghyuck don’t forget to tease Jaemin through their teeth, laughing at how he gapes at Jeno the moment he is in sight.

“Oh, he always looks hot post-training,” Donghyuck whispers at Jaemin’s ear.

“Jaemin thinks he always looks hot period,” Mark adds.

Really, the perfect team.

Donghyuck makes sure to sandwich himself in between Mark and Jaemin and buys only two buckets of popcorn for him and Mark and for Jeno and Jaemin to share. Mark also only gets two sodas, which means Jaemin would be abstaining from drinking for the entirety of the movie, because Mark Lee is the spawn of the devil. Jeno doesn’t seem to have an issue with this and only happily follows them into the movie theater, munching on the popcorn, occasionally asking Jaemin if he’s okay and offering him some of their shared popcorn.

Halfway into the movie, Jaemin sees Mark and Donghyuck casually tangling their fingers together on the arm rest between them. He unintentionally stares for a bit too long before Jeno taps on his leg, peeling his attention away from the sudden display of affection.

“Jaemin,” Jeno whispers just inches away from Jaemin’s ear, “Come with me for a refill?” He shakes the almost empty popcorn bucket and nudges his head towards the exit of the theater. Jaemin stares back and forth between Jeno and the bucket and nods, discreetly getting up from his seat and making sure that he isn’t blocking the view as they sneak out of the theater.

They walk side by side to the snack bar in silence. Jeno hands the empty bucket to the person behind the counter and asks for a refill. He turns turns to Jaemin and looks at him inquisitively, tilting his head when he asks, “You okay?”

Jaemin presses a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Nothing. It’s just,” Jeno mutters, “if you don’t mind me asking, what’s up with Mark?”

Jaemin scrunches his eyebrows. “What’s up with Mark?” He repeats, returning the question to Jeno.

Jeno hums. “Doesn’t he know?”

“Know what?”

“That you like Donghyuck.”

Jaemin stares blankly at the confusion etched on Jeno’s face before he remembers that as far as Jeno is concerned, he has a big fat crush on Donghyuck and not him.

“I think… I think Mark likes him and it seems like Donghyuck likes him back. He’s my best friend so I’m happy for him. For both of them,” Jaemin shrugs.

Jeno brings his wallet out quietly from his back pocket when the newly-filled bucket is set in front of them and puts a single bill on the counter in exchange. He stretches his arms out to offer some to Jaemin. “The thing you did yesterday was really sweet.”

Jaemin chuckles softly as he takes some off the top of the pile. “That was a disaster,” he counters, throwing the popcorn inside of his mouth.

“No, it wasn’t,” Jeno retorts. “It’s really thoughtful. You wrote a letter too. Old-fashioned, but cute. I’d be glad to receive one.”

Jeno did say it was the perfect flower for Donghyuck, considering that he had been called ‘full sun’ as a nickname by one of the teachers who adored him so much for a good two years before she retired. It fits with his sun-kissed skin too and how he captures the attention of everyone in every room he walks into.

But really, the sunflower was meant to symbolize how radiant Jeno’s smile is to Jaemin; how his presence effortlessly makes Jaemin’s day a whole lot brighter, how Jeno shines like the sun when he’s doing the things he love the most, whether he’s playing in the field or helping other people out. To Jaemin, Jeno was the sun, and he rightfully deserves that sunflower just as much as Donghyuck does. Maybe even more to Jaemin.

“I saw that you received a couple of roses too yesterday,” Jaemin recalls, wiggling his eyebrows at Jeno.

Jeno laughs with a shake of his head. “That was nothing. One of them, I was supposed to give away, but something came up. The other one was from this girl a year younger than us. Lami was her name, I think.”

“Cute,” Jeno says genuinely. He hesitates before asking, “Is she your type?”

Jeno lifts a hand to rub on the back of his neck, seeming to consider it carefully. “Not really. My type is cuter. Maybe a little bit reserved. Smart, definitely. Has the best smile ever. Unfortunately for me, my type also likes someone else.”

Even when Jeno is talking about being in love with someone else, Jaemin falls in love a bit more. “That sucks. I know how that feels like.”

Jeno’s gaze lingers a bit too long on Jaemin before he snaps himself out of his trance and nudges Jaemin to start walking back to their theater. “Which is why you can’t give up so easily,” Jeno says, throwing an arm around his shoulders. “Let me help you out with Donghyuck.”

“Jeno, you really don’t have to do anything.”

“Sure I do,” Jeno smiles at him. “One of us should at least be happy.”

 

 

Jaemin realizes it a bit too late, but Jeno _does_ stay true to his word and discreetly attempts to try convince Donghyuck to give him a chance. Sometimes, it’s getting Jaemin to pick up Donghyuck’s favorite bread from the bakery. Sometimes it’s getting Jaemin to fill up Donghyuck’s water bottle before they go into soccer practice.

This time, it’s persuading Jaemin to tutor Donghyuck.

“Do you remember that time we worked together for Biology?” Jeno brings up one afternoon. He has convinced Jaemin to study with them at the library, knowing that he could help since he’s doing so well with all of his classes.

Beside him, Jaemin stops writing abruptly and hums. “I remember.”

Across Jeno, Donghyuck groans out loud. “Me too. I remember,” he grumbles.  He has given up going through his text book in boredom about an hour into studying and has been toying with his phone in the last thirty minutes. “I remember that Jeno wouldn’t shut up about the kid who was helping him pass Biology.”

Jaemin tries to hide his face behind his arm, knowing that the blood rushing to his cheeks is probably making his face blush crazily, and continues writing.

Jeno frowns, throws his eraser, and laughs as it bounces off of Donghyuck’s forehead. “He was performing miracles then. I would have gotten kicked out of the team if I didn’t pull my grades up,” Jeno explains, flashing Jaemin a soft smile when he lifts his head up for a split second. Then he snatches Donghyuck’s phone and sets it down on the table out of Donghyuck’s reach. “What I’m getting at is, maybe you can tutor Donghyuck for Trig.”

Jeno smiles at Jaemin knowingly, and it’s a bit too late when the latter gets the drift that _this_ is Jeno’s way of trying to set him up with Donghyuck. Jaemin resists the urge to cry.

Donghyuck scoffs. “Excuse you, I can handle my own Trig. If there’s anyone who’s in need of a little help, it’s you.” He playfully sticks his tongue out at Jeno and grabs his phone. He turns to Jaemin and says, “Jeno falls asleep sometimes during the lecture. Want to see pics?”

“Sure,” Jaemin laughs, leaning over the table towards Donghyuck.

“No one is showing anyone photos of a very tired and sleep-deprived person dozing off in class,” Jeno grabs Donghyuck’s phone again and slides it into the pocket of his jeans. Donghyuck makes a sound of protest but is unable to retrieve his phone for the second time because Jeno is already up on his feet, slinging the strap of his duffel bag on his shoulder. “Just let him help you. I’ll see you later in practice,” he says, glancing at Jaemin for a second before making his way out of the library.

“I’ll see you later for practice” Donghyuck mocks Jeno, lowering the pitch of his voice to imitate something akin to a caveman. He waits until Jeno is out of the library before he turns to Jaemin. “He really thinks that this is an effective way to get me interested in you, huh?”

“It isn’t working, huh?” Jaemin smiles.

“Not at all, sweetie,” Donghyuck shakes his head. “No offense to you, of course.”

“None taken,” Jaemin shrugs. He knows perfectly well that he wouldn’t stand a chance against Mark anyway.

“I’m still going to hold up my side of the deal,” Donghyuck tells Jaemin. “I’m serious about helping you out with Jeno.”

“Forget it. At this point, it sounds just as impossible as convincing you to give me a chance,” Jaemin waves him off.

“Something tells me that I don’t even have to lift a finger to make it happen,” Donghyuck says over-confidently with a lopsided smile. “Seems like you weren’t the only one harboring feelings for a long time, Jaemin,” he says as he stands up from his seat and throws his own bag over his shoulders, walking out of the library and leaving Jaemin confused and lost on his own.

 

 

Jeno’s next attempt at setting Jaemin up with Donghyuck happens during a random encounter in the hallway.

Jaemin has just gotten out of second period and is on his way to his next class when he hears his name echoing from the other end of the hallway, Jeno spotting him and waving a hand in the air. “Are you going to class?” Jeno asks when they’re only a few spaces apart, halting in the middle of the near-empty corridor.

“Yeah,” Jaemin nods. “Quiz for World Lit.”

“Bummer,” Jeno says, making a face. “I know you’ll ace it though,” he smiles, reaching out to squeeze Jaemin on the arm reassuringly.

Jaemin breaks out into a grin. “You have too much faith in me, but thanks.”

Jeno looks hesitant for a split second and is startled by the ringing of the second bell, which indicates that next period is starting in five minutes. “Are you doing anything tomorrow night?”

It takes Jaemin a while to process the question. “I don’t really have anything planned. Why’d you ask?”

“Maybe you can come and watch our game tomorrow,” Jeno offers with uncertainty. “Donghyuck’s playing. He’d appreciate you watching the game for him.”

Jaemin’s smile falters. “I’m not going to watch the game for Donghyuck. Mark is his personal cheerleader, not me. I have to get to class.”

“Okay, wait,” Jeno says, side-stepping Jaemin and blocking his way before he can leave. Jaemin huffs impatiently. “Watch for me.”

Jaemin’s mouth dries. “What.”

“Be _my_ personal cheerleader.”

“ _What_.”

“Pretty please?”

Jaemin is frozen on his feet, his skin burning where Jeno’s gripping at his wrists to keep him from walking away. He’s waiting for Jeno to tell him that this is a joke, that he wants Jaemin to watch as a supportive friend, that it’s okay if he doesn’t come at all. Jeno doesn’t say any of those things.

“Okay,” Jaemin answers quietly, as he watches the corners of Jeno’s lips pulling up into a smile. “I’ll be there.”

“Great. I’ll see you,” Jeno says before he squeezes Jaemin’s wrist one last time and running (late) for his next class.

Jaemin gets to third period late as well, wondering if he had been imagining the whole encounter in his head.

 

 

Hard as it may be to believe but Jaemin has never actually been to any of the soccer team’s games. There is no particular reason as to why he hasn’t ever attended any of the team’s matches, just like there is no reason for him to be there to watch. A familiar Saturday evening consists of him staying in and watching some whatever movie on his laptop he hasn’t seen, sometimes with Mark, as they feast on cold pizza and an unhealthy amount of sweets and soda.

Now, there is a legitimate reason for him to watch, a _someone_ who wants him to be there.

Jaemin just wants to run away.

Of course, Mark doesn’t let him, mentions something about _Donghyuck killing me if I let you out of my sight,_ and keeps a tight grip on his wrist until they’ve managed to shimmy themselves in the middle-center part of the bleachers, making it difficult for Jaemin to sneak away because of the number of students and parents that have gathered to watch the game. Jaemin had even felt embarrassed about carrying a big ass sign from the parking lot to the field, which eventually proved to be something stupid to worry about when Jaemin realizes that the soccer team has a rather committed fanbase on their side.

“You okay?” Mark asks when they’ve finally settled down, watching the players warming up on the field. Jaemin almost doesn’t hear him, the cheering and chanting of the other students below them drowning out any other sound.

“No?” Jaemin answers, sitting stiffly on his seat. “I feel nervous.”

Mark snorts. “You’re not the one playing,” he says, earning a glare from the other boy. “Look, there’s Jeno,” he says nudging his chin towards the end of the field where Jeno, clad in his navy-blue jersey, is warming up beside Donghyuck. Jaemin feels the air knocked out of him seeing Jeno glistening under the field lights, hair swept up, seriously talking to his teammates and concentrating on the game. “Oh, he looks good,” even Mark says in awe.

“Not helping,” Jaemin says, sounding a little choked and out of air.

Mark snorts again. “Whipped.” He puts his sign for Donghyuck on the floor and reaches for his bag, pulling out what seems to be a single stalk of sunflower and a very familiar envelope. “Donghyuck told me to give you these.”

Jaemin looks at the flower and _his_ handwritten letter in horror as Mark forces them into his hands. “Why do you have these?” He asks, mumbling to himself. When Mark doesn’t respond, Jaemin realizes what Donghyuck wants him to do. He looks up at Mark like a deer-in-headlights. “No.”

“You’re going to give it to him. And you’re going to do it right. If you don’t do it now, when will you get the chance to do it again?” Mark is seething through his teeth, trying to lower his voice so it wouldn’t bother anyone around them. “You have nothing to lose, Jaemin! And if he doesn’t like you? Then it’s his loss. Plus, I had to buy that flower with my own money and I’ll be damned if you screw this up again,” Mark hisses, picking up his sign from the floor and unfolding it, revealing the big fat **GO DONGHYUCK** written in dark blue marker on the board.

The sound of a horn blares from the speaker, signaling that the game is about to start. The players from both team huddle to their respective corners, Jeno standing just behind his team members as he scans the crowd. Too quickly, he spots Jaemin with a squint of his eyes, and waves at him with the biggest smile. The younger students watching below sigh dreamily, gushing about #02 Lee Jeno, who is so handsome and charming. Jaemin feels his heart stop beating at the sight of his smile.

He returns the grin and mouths _good luck_ , which Jeno seems ecstatic about as he skips to his position in the field.

 

 

The game is tight, both teams scoring two points with only 15 minutes to go in the last half.

In a last attempt to score a winning goal, Jeno scrambles to dribble past his opponents and pass the ball to Donghyuck, who fires the ball straight into the goal, with the goalkeeper failing to make a diving catch at the line.

The crowd erupts in cheers and chants, the whole team huddling in the field and throwing Donghyuck up in the air for bagging this win for the team. The students flock to the field right after the entire soccer team snaps a photo together, each one running and congratulating a team member with hugs and praises.

Mark drags Jaemin down the bleachers to the edge of the field, only to abandon him when he tackles Donghyuck into a bear hug and giving him a fat smack on the cheeks, shouting “THAT’S MY MVP” at the top of his lungs.

Before he can make a run for it, Jaemin spots Jeno jogging to where he stood, drenched in water and sweat, raven hair flopping just right above his eyes. With his free hand, Jaemin instinctively brushes Jeno’s hair back, slowly taking in Jeno’s appearance right in front of him.

“Hi,” Jeno says airily, breath still uneven from running around. “Thank you for watching me play.”

“You were the best,” Jaemin tells him shamelessly, knowing that he’s completely biased. He sees how Jeno’s eyes travel to his other hand, gripping the flower and letter that’s always been for Jeno. “I have something to tell you, Jeno. The letter and the flower I gave to Donghyuck on Valentine’s Day,” he starts slowly, still a tinge scared of being rejected, “that wasn’t for him.”

Jeno lips slowly fall agape as Jaemin continues.

“It’s for you,” Jaemin lifts his hand to hand the items over, which Jeno hesitantly takes from him. “I know it’s stupid that I let it go on for this long, but I was terrified of telling you. I like you a whole lot. Like a _whole_ lot.”

Jeno doesn’t say anything, waits until Donghyuck steps forward and hands him a white rose, whispering “you owe me, bitch,” before he walks back into Mark’s embrace. Jeno takes a deep breath. “The truth is, I chickened out on giving you this on Valentine’s Day because I thought you were in love with my best friend. I panicked and offered to give it to Hyuck myself, because for a moment I thought that you were going to give it to me.”

Jaemin stares in horror. “Wait, what?”

“It gets more embarrassing. Wait for it,” Jeno chuckles as he puts the rose in Jaemin’s hands. “I thought setting you up with Hyuck would mean I could get closer to you. As a friend, at least. I got mad at him for a while for flirting with Mark, knowing that you’d get hurt. But then both Hyuck and Mark told me that you were never really interested in him. And I wasn’t sure until I asked you to come yesterday.”

Jaemin drags his gaze from Jeno’s eyes to the flower in his hand, a white long-stemmed rose that has barely bloomed, its stem free from any thorns that could prick his skin.

“White rose. Because I’ve never met anyone so pure and so kind. Because you bring me peace and you have that way of making it feel like everything in the world is all right,” Jeno says. “I know that this is late, but I like you a lot Jaemin. More than you know,” he says finally, stretching out his arms to wrap tightly around Jaemin, who throws his own around Jeno’s shoulder with a laugh. “So, can I please have your notes in Trig,” Jeno teases, voice muffled when he speaks into the crook of Jaemin’s neck.

Jaemin smacks a hand on Jeno’s shoulder with a laugh. “What would you do without me.”

Jeno sighs. “I’d rather not find out.”

 

 

Mark watches the confession from a distance, holding Donghyuck close to his side and leaning on the mop of the athlete’s head. “You know, babe, you could have saved them a lot of trouble if you gave Jeno the letter and the flower as soon as you realized it wasn’t for you.”

Donghyuck makes a sound of annoyance, casually checking his nails for any dirt and soil from the game as they walk off the field. “Where’s the fun in that?” He smirks, pressing a quick peck to Mark’s cheek and playfully skipping away.

**Author's Note:**

> i was so close to dropping this thing but someone convinced me to finish the whole thing [side eyes [reena](http://ao3.org/users/leeminhyoongi)]


End file.
